Chavez’s Chauffeur

chavez, travel writing, venezuela — jens on 2008-02-09

The following joke is making the rounds. Here it is in translation from Spanish:

Hugo Chavez and his chauffeur were going down the highway when suddenly a pig crossed the road, right in front of them. The chauffeur slammed on the brakes but was unable to stop in time, and killed the pig instantly. Chavez ordered his chauffeur very authoritatively, “Find the owner of the pig and tell him what happened: a Bolivarian Accident!”

Three hours later, the chauffeur returned, unsteady on his feet. In one hand was a bottle of aguardiente and in the other a box of Cuban cigars, his hair and clothes all messed up. “What happened?” Chavez asked his chauffeur, who answered:

“Well, the owner of the pig gave me this bottle of aguardiente and these cigars, his wife made me the best food you ever had, and his beautiful daughter made love to me three times, completely wild sex…”

“Well, what did you say to him?”

“Friend,” I said, “I’m Chavez’s chauffeur, and I just killed the pig!”

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Sanjuanero Huilense

huila, sanjuanero, colombia — jens on 2008-02-06

Here’s a look at a traditional dance from southern Colombia:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNC3wKmz0C8

Most city folk would laugh that this is hopelessly out of date, but some aerobics classes use the music and steps to burn fat, and the dance is still practiced in the countryside (especially near the town of Huila, after which it is named).

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This work is copyright © 2007 Jens Porup. All Rights Reserved. | Shrapnel From A Loose Cannon