So I’m walking down the street the other day on the way back from the supermarket, and I see this guy leaning on a short wall in the driveway in front of a small apartment building. He has his right leg perfectly straight, and the left leg is bent to support his weight against the wall.

Then I do a double take. Mid-thigh on his right leg is the unmistakeable hand grip of an M-16. He has the gun draped down his leg, so that the black of the gun blends into the dark blue of his jeans. He’s got his hand on the trigger, but the gun is rotated out and down against the outside of his thigh.

He notes me doing my double take, but never makes eye contact or turns his head. I’m a gringo in shorts with two big grocery bags: I am correctly assessed as Not A Threat. He watches me out of the corner of his eye as I walk past and turn the corner to my house, just a few blocks away.

It is generally not a good idea to linger for long when you encounter a professional bodyguard in Colombia. Bodyguards are there to protect someone from attack; you don’t want to be in the accidental crossfire. Locals will make a point of crossing the street and walking fast if they see a professional bodyguard.